To Chore or Not to Chore?

In our house recently we have began a debate over chores. Our first born, who always has to be crafting something has found a new obsession; needle felting. She realized this after watching exactly ONE YouTube tutorial and has talked of NOTHING else since. Any of you who may have a 10 year old girl can appreciate exactly how much I have learned about needle felting over the last few days. Of course she has none of the supplies needed and promptly came to me to ask to buy them for her.

If I were being completely honest, my first inclination is to want to give her what she wants, no questions asked, because she is a great kid and I love her to bits. However the bank account does not always allow for spur of the moment "extras" and after talking it over with my husband we came up with what we thought was a good compromise; she could complete chores around the house to earn the money for the felting kit. Much to my surprise this idea was met with resistance from my daughter, and the groaning and eye rolling began. This immediately set in motion an evening of "when I was your age..." conversations.

We finally convinced her that working towards an eventual goal is better than no reward at all, but it was a difficult sell in a world where instant gratification doesn't even seem fast enough anymore.

Chores were a part of life in my house growing up. The kids did the dishes every night and we were expected to keep our rooms clean, pack our lunches and get ourselves off to school in the morning. I think it's also important to add that we were not given regular allowance either, these were just expectations that we understood and did not question. I shudder to think what time my kid would waltz through the school doors if I were not here in the morning to get her to class.

Today there seems to be a resistance to the ideas of kids helping out around the house.

I'm not talking about child labor here, people, I'm talking about helping out around the house to help things run more smoothly.

There are many benefits to having your child help out with household chores including but not limited to;

1. Boosting Self Esteem. When kids are given a task and work hard to complete it, they are almost always really excited to show off their work. Completing daily or weekly chores can help kids feel like they have accomplished something to be proud of.

2. They become contributors to the household. I think giving my daughter tasks to complete ,makes her feel more included in how the household runs. She can take control of her own space and organize it to her specifications and then work to keep it that way.

3. Chores teach life skills. At the very base of the matter is the reality that chores are important life skills that need to be learned. Dishes will never stop needing to be done, laundry will always need to be folded and floors will always need to be swept. I hope to raise a productive, confident person who can take care of her self when she moves out on her own, and the chores she does today are preparing her for the chores she will still need to do tomorrow.

4. Chores teach about being inclusive. Gone are the days when the household chores are the domain of the female matriarch.We try to create an environment that shows our kids that everyone who lives here is responsible for a smoothly running household, not just Mom, and not just Dad. This is important because one day she may be the Mom who is expected to do everything, better to create an expectation of inclusion in life in ALL areas, including household chores.

5. Chores are for little ones too! You can start the expectation for help early in life. Toddlers are so helpful and usually want to help more than you would like them to. They can "help" put away their clothes, or help to tidy up toys before bedtime. It will give them a sense of accomplishment and they won't be surprised or shocked by a chore list down the road.

6. Allowances connected to a chore list can teach a valuable lesson about instant gratification. What lesson is to be learned if our kids get exactly what they want whenever they want it? Every time our daughter finishes a chore, she can feel confident that her actions are leading her closer and closer to her goal. She can feel a certain level of control and it teaches her that hard work does pay off in the end. It teaches a valuable lesson about motivation and work ethic.

If you are on the fence about instituting chores in your house, no worries. Start small with a few tasks that the child can easily complete. Some people find a posted chore list helps keep their child engaged and focused on the task presented before them. It's important to consider a few things when heading down chore territory, such as ensuring all the chores are age appropriate, and that your child can complete them safely. It is also important to set clearly defined expectations when asking your kids to chip in around the house. Ask for input from your child on what chores they feel they would like to tackle, it does not have to be a dictatorship, and they can feel a sense of control over their "chore fate."

The word "chore" does not have to be synonymous with dread and apprehension. It can be a tool that everyone in the household uses to their advantage to create a more harmonious and happy home. What type of chores are your kids responsible for at home? Or maybe you disagree with the idea of chores and kids altogether, sound off below!